Bottled up inside — Chapter 4: Contemplations

Dumped by her boyfriend, fired from Bart's, Molly is in a mess thanks to our detective.Will he be able to amend the state of affairs before Molly does something drastic? Read on to know. Slightly AU, post Reichenbach. Bits of Sherolly fluff. Please read and review!

Four hours had passed and Sherlock was still in the armchair, the blue dressing gown draped around him. Molly, that one person had been so simple till yesterday. She was his pathologist, she was infatuated by him, she dated Moriarty for a short time and she had helped him fake his death. That were the only things about her in his mind palace. But now, things had changed. He had sat in his armchair, doing nothing, just thinking about her. He had replayed each meeting in his head. And he was shocked at how rude he had been towards her. Every time, every single time he had said something that had her on the verge of tears. He wondered why he had done that. Had he really been so insensitive towards people in his determination to distance himself from sentiment as much as possible? Hadn't Molly actually told him so on Christmas? And he had insulted her yet again. She had looked quite pretty, to be honest. Yet, it irritated him that she had had a new boyfriend once again. How wrong he had been. And it had been the only time his deduction had been so grossly off the mark. And yet, if there was one thing he was absolutely certain of , then it was the fact that Molly had always loved him. He had thought of it as mere infatuation but he had known it to be true, unconditional love when she had risked everything in order to save his life. Recalling that day still struck him with fear. It had been horrible and not just for him. But it had worked and it had been worth it. Totally worth it only because of one person. Her. Remembering her tear-streaked face as she desperately tried to revive him with CPR and what not only worsened his guilt. Honestly, she had been through too much because of him. And now, she had tried to take her own life. In the end, it all boiled down to him. Her boyfriend dumping her, her boss sacking her, her many failed relationships and now this. He had almost killed her. Did that make him no better than Moriarty? No, it didn't because he was going to make amends. He was going to apologize to her properly. She deserved a lot better than this. Her face swam in front of his eyes and his mind was filled with unpleasant thoughts about what would've happened had he not reached in time. He brushed those thoughts away and tried focusing on something else. The immediate response of his brain was to replay the morning's events in fast forward but it decelerated to slow motion as he saw himself kneeling on the carpet with Molly's arms around him. It had felt very foreign but yet so strangely familiar. She was so very vulnerable and fragile, as if one word would shatter her into a million pieces. Her sudden embrace had surprised him and the warmth of her proximity even more so. His pulse had sped up and he had felt her warmth spread through him like a slow current, banishing away all logical thought. But what he had never imagined was how much he liked being in her arms. And smelling her hair. And the feeling of her warm breath against his neck. And so many other unnamed things. No one else had ever been in his personal space except her. And then she had pulled away and he was left with his body objecting strongly to her absence. Her cheeks had colored to a brilliant shade of scarlet, like the setting sun. She was chewing on her lower lip like she always did when she was nervous. Which had him wondering how her lips would taste if he just leant in and touched them with his own... He jolted out of his reviere with a start. Had he really thought about that? Bloody Hell. He really needed something to distract him from Molly or else he was going to end up spending the whole day in his armchair thinking of her. He shrugged off the dressing gown and grabbed his coat and scarf. The urge to call Mary and ask her whether Molly was alright was overwhelming but he overrode it. What he really needed at the moment was a long walk and an even longer smoke to drive away the thoughts of a certain brunette pathologist from his mind.

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